All She Wanted For Christmas
by IWantToMarryJames
Summary: There's only one thing Lily wants for christmas. Rated for language.


**_A/N:_ I had this story in my head for ages, bugging me and jumping around until I finally decided to write it down. Fluffy, just the way I like them, and a bit christmasy, because I love christmas. The songs "Teardrops on my guitar" by Taylor Swift, "All I want for Christmas is you" by Mariah Carey and "Maybe this christmas" by Ron Sexsmith were all BIG inspiration. R&R people whom I love dearly :)**

**_Disclaimer:_ I want James for christmas, too, though I doubt JK will want to give him away, flawless as he is (if you're a bit dense, that was me saying I don't own any of the characters and I'm not making money out of this).**

She hated Christmas, she decided as his velvety soft voice reached her again.

"Lily, what do you want for Christmas?"

'You', she wanted to say. 'I want you.'

"I've already told you, I don't know." she settled with and watched as he slumped down onto the sofa next to her.

"Can you at least give me a hint?" he sighed and she shook her head, hoping he didn't see the longing in her eyes as she took in his appearance.

His black hair fell into his eyes and managed to stick out everywhere at the same time. He was wearing muggle clothing - which looked ridiculously good on him - a soft, expensive navy blue sweater and a pair of black jeans. He was oozing money and sexiness as he glared at her, his hazel eyes twinkling with mischief, like they always did.

It was the Christmas holiday at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and James Potter and Lily were the only Gryffindors left.

James was there, because he had recently lost his mother as well as his father and didn't particularly want to go home to an empty house now that Sirius was living on his own.

Lily was there because her sister had just agreed to marry the hippopotamus she called 'Vernon' and the wedding arrangements were making Lily's life a living hell, even when she was thousands of miles away in Hogwarts.

"Come on, this is absurd, I haven't got a clue what you want and I'm supposed to be your best friend!"

He sounded genuinely upset and she thought about giving into him, to just say something, anything. But she bit down her answer and shook her head.

"Would you just drop it, okay? I don't know. Honestly."

He pouted, looking like a child as he did so. She laughed and he glared.

"Quit being a baby."

"But it's not fair!" he whined and gave her his best puppy eyes.

"You've bought me something." He accused her "And it's something really good, because you've been looking smug for weeks. And I have nothing!"

She had been smug, her present was perfect. Two tickets to see the Montrose Magpies playing Holyhead Harpies. James had been going on about the match forever and was heartbroken when he found the match was sold out.

He released the full force of his brilliant hazel eyes on her, making her swoon a bit, even as she sat down.

"Please?" he pleaded with her, making her heart melt. "Just a tiny clue… Please? Pretty please?"

"No," she said, ruthless. "You are, as you pointed out yourself, my best friend. Come up with something on your own."

He was her best friend these days. It was weird to say it out loud, but it was true none the less. After not speaking to each other for a whole year they had come to a sort of truce at the beginning of seventh year. Seeing him in prefects meetings and actually talking to him during patrol had made her see a different James Potter than the one she thought she knew.

Nowadays he knew almost everything about her and in turn she knew almost everything about him. He still had some traces from the old James though; he could tease her endlessly and never know when to stop. Those days she cried herself to sleep. The few times they had argued he was heartless, left her to cry for hours and never seemed able to apologize.

But the warm James that comforted her when she was sad, the caring James that helped her through the Transfiguration homework she could never understand and the wonderful James that sat with her in front of the fire and read a book for her until she fell asleep. Him she had fallen for, and she couldn't ever seem to hit ground.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses, bringing her back to reality.

"Fine, I give up. I'll owl Sirius and ask him for advice."

"James, really, I don't want anything. And if I get lacy underwear, or underwear of any kind, I will castrate you both slowly in your sleep."

"Consider us warned, and I am going to get you something. Just haven't figured out what yet."

He flashed her one of his brilliant, infamous smiles and her heart skipped a beat.

"Come on," he smiled "Me and the marauders found an awesome place to go sleighing in second year. Wanna come?"

"Sure," she returned his smile. "Why not?"

"Go get you cloak on then and I'll take you."

"What about your cloak?" she said and raised and eyebrow.

"I'm a man, Lily; we don't need silly things as cloaks."

She rolled her eyes at his arrogant tone.

"Sure you don't. But don't come crying to me when you start freezing your bits off."

"Just get the cloak, Lily."

* * *

"Lily, please, just let me borrow your cloak for one minute!" 

"No, I told you to bring your cloak and you said real men don't need cloaks. So be a man and suck it up."

"But I'm not a man, Lily! You know that, I'm an arrogant prat!" he exclaimed and she laughed at him.

"Please Lily; I'll give you anything you want. Anything."

He did look cold, his lips were purple and his hands had a bluish tinge to them. She looked at him, doubt on her face.

"But my cloak is too small..." she said in a small voice.

He opened his mouth to argue and something snapped within her. Not today, not now, not co close to christmas, she couldn't take this anymore. He shut his mouth again when he saw her glare.

"And none of the fat jokes, Potter. I know I've put on weight and I don't like it when you constantly remind me." she said, sick of the way he'd been treating her lately.

He seemed to forget that she wasn't like Sirius, Peter or Remus. She was fragile when it came to him, and somehow he took every opportunity he could to break her.

"You're supposed to be my best friend, and I don't know what yours and Sirius relationship is like, but I don't appreciate your smart comments." she flushed when she felt the tears sting her eyes. "I get enough crap from others and I don't need it from you as well." her voice broke and she turned around.

Did he quite honestly think that what he said didn't hurt her?

She felt his hand on her arm and she turned. He looked upset and the tears in her eyes threatened to overflow. She tried to blink them away and he caught one of her tears with his ice cold hand.

"God, Lily, calm down. You know I'm just kidding around, you know I think you're beautiful." he said and looked rather nervous, despite the blue lips and all.

"No, I don't know! Because the only thing you seem to say to me these days is how fat I am or how I should do this and that..."

He let go of her arm and took a step backwards. The distance physically hurt her.

"Do you think it's easy for me then? You're always so bloody perfect and everything you do is always so great. You're never mean to anyone, you never lie, you never sneak out after hours and you make me feel like a complete arse whenever I even think about breaking some kind of rule! You're a god damn saint, Lily, a stuck up prude who's never done anything bad in your entire life."

The tears weren't threatening to fall anymore; they were flowing at a rapid pace. He knew he had hurt her bad when he said those things, he knew how she constantly worried about being perfect so that no one could look down on her.

"You bastard, James." she said quietly and took a step away from him. It was becoming hard to breathe and her heart seemed to have broken into a million pieces, stinging her chest.

"Lily I didn't -"

"Do you still want to know what I want for Christmas, James?" she said, her voice breaking on his name. She could see how he hesitated, her start taking him by surprise. She didn't wait for him to answer and went on.

"I wanted you... I wanted for you to love me like I love you, I wanted you to see me as someone you could consider holding hands with on the way to class. But I'm never going to get that, am I? Because where I love you, flaws, pranks and everything you can't even see past the mask I don't even use when I'm around you." She couldn't take it anymore. She turned and ran, ran until she couldn't breathe and then she sat down, crying out what was left of her heart.

She never saw the look on his face as she ran, nor did she hear his escape from the tower later that night as he went to set things right.

* * *

She hid out in her dorm the rest of the vacation, safe in her knowledge that he couldn't get to her there. She heard him try to get up the stairs and smiled when she heard his yelps as he tumbled down. 

The house elves brought her food and before she knew it, Christmas Day was there.

There was a neat pile of presents on the foot of her bed and smiling she opened the first one. It was from her mother and father, some money for her to buy something she wanted from Hogsmeade. She got a tea cup from Petunia and Vernon, a box of Bertie Botts every flavoured Beans with only the ones that tasted grass left from her best friend Mary and a pair of home knitted gloves from her other friend Dorcas Meadows.

She almost didn't notice the small parcel that lay beneath the piles of paper. It was a black, velvety box and curiously she opened it.

Her heart caught in her throat when she saw what it was.

It was the silver bracelet she had looked at so many times in Hogsmeade but never bought because it was terribly expensive. The silver chain had a flat piece in the middle where three emeralds glistened, matching the colour of her eyes.

She took it out of the box and a note fluttered to the floor.

She bent to pick it up, and she recognized his messy handwriting instantly. Only four words were written on the posh, white parchment.

"_I was already yours."_

Her heart thumped unevenly and she got out of bed. How could he possibly have known?

Not even bothering to fix hair or makeup she raced down the stairs clad only in her flannel pyjamas.

He was waiting, looking awfully perfect even as he sat there in black sweatpants and a white T-shirt.

"How did you know?" she whispered.

His head turned so quickly she heard his neck crack.

"What do you mean?"

"The bracelet, how did you know I wanted it? I haven't told anyone about it."

"Yes you have, you told me when we were going to announce the first Hogsmeade trip."

She frowned, trying to remember.

"I asked what you were going to do in Hogsmeade and you said that you'd look at a bracelet with three emeralds cut into it."

"You remembered that?" she said softly, smiling.

He shrugged, embarrassed.

"Well, you know..." a faint blush tinted his pale cheeks and she couldn't help herself. She threw herself into his arms and hugged him tight. He stood completely still at first, shocked by her sudden embrace, but soon his arms sneaked around her waist and crushed her to his chest.

"Did you mean it?" she whispered after a while.

"Mean what?" he murmured into her ear and she shivered.

"That you're mine? That you want me?"

"When didn't I want you? When wasn't I yours? It's been so long I can't even remember what it's like to _not_ belong to you."

She drew back so that she could see his eyes. She searched them for a long time, trying to find something that would contradict what he was telling her, but she couldn't doubt the sincere hazel of his eyes.

"I'm yours too, you know." she said quietly and he grinned.

He bent down to kiss her softly and her now mended heart went into a frenzy.

He drew back after a moment and placed a kiss on her nose

"I know now."

Lily smiled as he placed his lips upon hers again.

She definitely loved Christmas.


End file.
